The Hennigan Tribe

Saturday, January 4, 2014

37 Weeks and Counting...

Esquire and I were excited and a little terrified when we found out that we were having a baby.
I was convinced we were having a little boy and set out to find a boy name as soon as possible.
We had a boy name picked out when we went in for the gender sonogram, but still didn't have any girl names that we could agree on. When the ultrasound technician told us it was definitely a girl, we were back at square one of the “Name That Baby” game. We started all over with surveying family and friends, bouncing names off each other, looking up name meanings, and ruling out names that made us cringe.

We finally decided on a first name for our little girl not too long ago. We decided to name her Eleanor and call her Ellie. Eleanor means “shining light” and is a very classic name. The first Eleanor that probably came to mind was our former First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt, but what you may not know is that there were also several queens named Eleanor (the earliest of them were probably spelled differently). If you've ever seen the movie “Up” then you’ll remember the precocious little girl in the beginning of the movie was named Ellie. We didn't name her Eleanor because of “Up”, but I imagine our Ellie could very well resemble that little bubble of crazy joy. We are still discussing middle names, but I’m sure that we’ll figure it out before we have to submit her birth certificate.

We recently had the opportunity to see our little girl again. We opted to get a 3D ultrasound done at the same time as her regular ultrasound. We were able to see the shape of her little eyes, nose, and mouth. Can I just say that (in my completely biased opinion) she’s pretty stinking cute! This will probably be the last ultrasound that we’ll get before she’s born and I’m so glad we have these photos of her sweet little self.

Today marks 37 weeks of pregnancy. It’s scary to think that in a month or less Esquire and I will be card-carrying parents of a little girl. All the theoretical “my child will NEVER…” and “I won’t let my kid do THAT” statements will be put to the test. We decided to commemorate today by getting out my studio lighting and taking some photos of the baby bump. Even the dogs got in on the action!

The dogs were not really sure what we were doing but they behaved really well for the whole portrait process. Mairi was really concerned that she wasn't in possession of her favorite bone, so she looks a little anxious in my photo with them, but she was much happier with Esquire!

We can't wait to meet our little girl!

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Unicorns

In the movie What To Expect When You’re Expecting there is a girl that is referred to as the “magical pregnancy unicorn.” While the other characters struggle through stretch marks, morning sickness, exhaustion, and even miscarriage and infertility, she glides through pregnancy with twins looking like a model and feeling better than ever. She is revered and hated because she seems impervious to the unfortunate symptoms of pregnancy.

Everyone reading this probably has a unicorn in mind. There are many of these mystical creatures that walk among us. The marriage unicorn(s) who seem to never have any fights or intimacy issues. The career unicorns who seem to float to the top of their fields as easily as though they were anchored to this earth with nothing more weighty than a few giant weather balloons. The school unicorns who appear to never study or show up to class but somehow manage to waltz away with a higher grade than the poor minions who formed study groups and sweated over each test question and essay. The list goes on, but they live among us and taunt us with their seemingly effortless perfection.

When I was younger, I was taunted by unicorns. These unicorns were married women. They were the cheerleaders and I was the gangly nerd in the back. As a single lady, it seemed that there was something extremely special about these women. Whether they had been married for one year or fifty years, in my mind, they possessed an otherworldly wisdom. They were special, set apart, and most importantly chosen. Men had deemed them worthy of pursuit and even lifelong companionship.

I knew that marriage would be hard work and a lifetime of putting someone else first. When we discussed marriage, Esquire and I asked each other “What do you think marriage should be?”. My response was something along the lines of “Marriage is hard work. Marriage is loving someone when you don’t like them. It’s staying through the tough times and putting each other first even when it’s hard.” I’ve known since I was young that love isn’t an emotion. It is an action. It is commitment.

There’s this unwritten code in our culture today that you should only project the good things and leave the ugly side of relationships as a very private thing between you and your spouse. I don’t necessarily disagree with the premise, but I think that it leaves your single friends with this unfair idea of what your marriage looks like.

However, now that I’m a new initiate of the super elitist club that I so often envied, I want to lift the veil off the mystical state of marriage. These are a few things I’ve learned about men, myself, and marriage.

Jamie’s List of Random Things I’ve Learned In Nine Months of Marriage

Inside every man is a vulnerable little boy. Don’t get me wrong…my husband is a strong, masculine, protective hunk of a man. Still, sometimes he just needs me to give him a big kiss and tell him how proud I am of who he is and his accomplishments. He looks to me for confirmation that I appreciate his efforts to care for me. Sometimes he needs me to praise his video game playing abilities or his cleverness in solving a complex problem. I’ve seen this with other men, but I’ve never been blessed with the trust my husband gives me by showing me the most vulnerable places in his heart.

My husband is tragically flawed. No, I’m not referring to the fact that he doesn’t look like Ryan Gosling. I’m referring to the fact that he’s human. Being selfless doesn’t come easily to him. He struggles with balancing his own need for rest and relaxation with my need for communication and companionship. The beautiful thing in all this is that even though it’s not easy for him, he acts very selflessly because he loves me. We fight and probably always will, but his desire to act out his love for me leads him to treat me with extraordinary respect. Which leads me to…

Fighting is not as bad when you’re married. To clarify, fighting with Esquire isn’t nearly as scary for me because no matter what I know that he won’t leave me. Both of us have very strong beliefs about the sanctity of our vows. It gives me such peace to know that we can be upset with each other and know that he will still love me…even if he doesn’t like me. I was always wracked with insecurity when I fought with ex-boyfriends because they could just leave (and they did!). Every once in a while, old insecurities pop up, but they don’t stay long because they have no place in our marriage and I know that.

Fighting is worse when you’re married. I know I just said that it was better, and it is…but it’s also worse. You have to fight fair and watch every word because you can’t just take off and go back to your house if things get too uncomfortable. He can’t read your mind and doesn’t magically know what you need to hear. The couch isn’t far enough to go…he will wake up and find you even if you were enjoying your little rebellion. You also have the potential to deeply wound your very best friend in the whole world. That’s a huge weight to bear.

Being Newlyweds Is Like A Never Ending Slumber Party. I feel like I’m at the best slumber party ever because I get to stay up late with my best friend whenever I want. We eat junk food and dance randomly. We make up silly jokes and talk to each other in goofy voices. We kind of crack ourselves up.

I’m Not An Easy Person To Live With. Living with me is not a cakewalk. I’m moody, occasionally irrational, messy, and have no sense of time. I’m not saying I’m not trying to change and put Esquire first, but the truth is that my natural state resembles a grizzly bear that got woken up from winter hibernation a few weeks early. Apparently, I’m not an easy person to live with…who knew? ;) (The answer to that is “All my family and friends”)

Little Issues That Aren’t Addressed Become Big Issues Eventually. I knew this prior to marriage, but I have realized that it’s unfair to my husband to go from seemingly normal to borderline hysterical because a minor issue triggers bigger issues. I struggle to communicate these small things effectively, not because I want to hide them, but because I often don’t realize how much they have been bothering me until I’m a sobbing mess.

I, like many people in my generation, crave authenticity. I will strive to always provide honest posts about marriage, motherhood, and whatever else I post about. I’m not going to broadcast every little bump in our marriage, but know that we’re not perfect. We fuss, fight, and struggle to die to ourselves every day. There’s much to be improved, but overall, I can’t even imagine anything else. My husband, flaws and all, makes me so happy. I only hope I make him half as happy as he makes me. This man that prays for me, fights with me, and dances with me is the best husband and friend that I could ever imagine and I’m going to make sure that our daughter knows every day how much her parents love each other.

All images in this post were taken by the magnificent Crystal Bell of Gilded Sun Photography :)

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Boy or Girl?

Esquire and I have been able to feel our little Parasite moving for a few weeks now. I'm only sixteen weeks (seventeen on Saturday), but last night we were able to see it actually move the skin on my belly. It's not supposed to be able to hear yet, but it seems to respond to outside stimuli. For example, baby was kicking like crazy and seemed to startle when Nessie let out a loud bark. After a few seconds, it went back to kicking like it was before.

Tomorrow we should finally find out if this little wiggleworm is a boy or a girl. I'm so excited!
We joked after the last sonogram that maybe it wasn't a human baby after all. We think it looked suspiciously like we were having a platypus. So, we've decided that if it's a platypus, we're naming it Perry after Perry the Platypus. Still no definite names for a boy or a girl though.

I really want a girl, but I'm warming to the idea of a boy. We'll let everyone know the gender soon!

Here's an obligatory photo of the baby bump
(forgive the photo quality...was taken with cell phone in a dirty mirror :P)

Saturday, July 27, 2013

What To Name Baby Hennigan...

We still haven’t found out whether we’re having a boy or a girl, but either way naming that kid is going to be an intimidating process. Esquire and I have discussed names off and on since we found out we were having a baby. Usually our conversations about baby names are short.

“Hey, do you like this random name I thought of?”

“It’s not my favorite. What about this random name?”

“Eh, it’s okay but I wouldn’t want to name our baby that random name.”

And so on and so forth. Occasionally, we come across one that we both consider to be less than terrible, but for the most part we just haven’t had any great light bulb moments.

Image from this site

Part of our problem stems from the fact that I am incredibly picky about names. I think that your name has a lot of power in your life and I don’t want to strap my child with a name that means “foulmouthed badger” or “weak warrior”. Not that those are real examples, but I want names that bestow a feeling of value and something that my child should strive to live up to.

My first and middle names mean “Supplanter” and “Who is like God”. To supplant is to take something and replace it with something better. Ever since I discovered what my name means, I’ve felt like it was part of who I am to strive to be a better version of myself. That power truly comes from Christ alone, yet I can make choices every day to live in a way that is glorifying and pleasing to God.

Esquire’s full name is actually the same as his father and grandfather and it was very special for him growing up that he was “The Third”. Now that we are looking into baby names, we are debating the merits of continuing that tradition or breaking with tradition and naming our firstborn son something entirely different.

Boy names are decidedly harder than girl names. First of all, there aren’t that many boy names that are even in the running. You have to think about your son as a grown man introducing himself. Sure, “Buddy” is cute on a young kid, but does it evoke the same level of initial respect that more traditional names might? I’m not saying that Buddy is a bad name, but you have to consider all these things!

Girl names are great. You have lots of options and a little of creativity is acceptable. Yet, with girl names you run the risk of accidentally naming your daughter something that evokes thoughts of unattractive women or promiscuous women. Delilah is a beautiful name, but people will wonder if she is like the vixen who cut Samson’s hair. Dorothy makes you think of an older, chain smoking receptionist or a girl with red shoes and strange friends. You might want to name your little sweetie Candy, but my own mom (Kandi) can testify to a very memorable trip to the dentist when she was in second grade. Her dentist informed her that she must have been named after a very famous stripper he knew named Candy Cane.

Too many times parents are tempted by the current trend of personalizing their favorite name with a very creative spelling. I’m fine with a letter here and there, but I can assure you we will not be naming our child anything that remotely resembles L-a (pronounced LaDasha).

Esquire and Jamie’s List of Names We Will Never Name Our Children

1. Adolph

2. Rebel

3. Finnegan or Bennigan (Come on Finnegan Hennigan?! That’s horrible!)

4. Heaven, Nevaeh, or Angel

5. Edward, Jacob, and Bella (One of these names in a family is acceptable, but choose ONE. Except Bella… never Bella!)

6. Ronald or Donald

7. Simba

8. Bliss

9. Tallulah

10. Timber

11. Urkel

12. Rain, Stormy, Misty, or any other overtly weather related names

13. Summer, Autumn, Spring, or Winter

14. North, South, East, or West

15. Ariel, Jasmine, or Aurora

So, if any of you have these names or children with these names, don’t worry…We probably aren’t judging you too much.

Unless you name your child Adolph or Bella. Then you're dead to us ;)

See these babies? They just found out their parents named them "Adolph, Bella, and Simba"

We’d love to hear some of your suggestions for Baby Hennigan! We'd even welcome the unusual ones!

We'll probably name our kid something strange, but it won't be a name on "Esquire and Jamie's List Of Names We Will Never Name Our Children!"

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Once Upon A Time...

In 2004,

Two little NCFCA nerds met at the Alexandria Practice Tournament in Louisiana.

Eight long years went by with barely a “hello” until they started talking on Facebook

and on May 19^th, 2012 decided to try this thing called dating...

Before long, the girl...

was pretty smitten by the boy with the kind eyes

And, of course,
they fell in love…

In November he decided to propose…

A month later, on December 22^nd, they were married…

They honeymooned in Galveston where the girl got sick

(this has nothing to do with my narrative…I just wanted to be able to include this picture)…

A few months went by, and the boy began to notice that the girl was ~~crazy~~ more awesome than he realized,

but needed a lot of cuddles...so they got a puppy named Nessie…

But Nessie became lonely...

and the ~~very stupid~~ brave boy and girl decided to get her a playmate named Mairi…

Nessie and Mairi were very excited to be together

and bonded over their mutual interest in salmon flavored treats…

And the four of them settled into a routine until one day…

On May 21st...

Just 1 year and 2 days after they started dating...

The boy and girl discovered…

You read that right... They found out that they were going to be PARENTS!

And they lived happily ever after...

What do you think about that?

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Thoughts on Adoption

Adoption is becoming or has already become a sub-culture in mainstream Christianity lately and while I'm glad that people are taking adoption and orphan care more seriously, I am often at a loss when someone asks me why adoption is so close to MY heart.

The truth is that there are many things I say about why I am such a huge advocate for adoption, and all the reasons I give are true, but adoption is such a huge issue that sometimes you can come across as trite when you say things like "I feel called to adopt", "Because there are children out there who need homes", and "Because God tells us to take care of orphans", or even "I've known since I was young that I wanted to adopt". The problem with all of these explanations is that the reasons why I want to adopt are so much more complicated than that.

I remember a conversation I had with my Mom when I was about five years old. She explained very simply that there were children that didn't have a Mommy and a Daddy. Five year old me was flabbergasted by this idea "What? No Mommy and Daddy to tuck you in at night?! No Mommy and Daddy to sleep with when you had nightmares?". The consequences of growing up without parents was very real to me in that moment. If five year old me had been able to go collect those children right then I would have mothered them the best way I knew how! I mean, everyone needs someone to tuck them in at night...right?

It seems crazy, but that conversation is really the basis of which my desire to adopt stems. That childlike horror at the thought of a parent-less child and the desire to nurture that I felt as a young child is still the instinctual response I give when people ask "Why do you want to adopt?". Because, let's be honest here folks...the concept of children without nurture is truly horrific.

When I was seven years old, one of my cousins was put up for adoption as an infant. My parents discussed offering to adopt her, but my brother was only ten months old at the time and we weren't in a great position financially, so they decided that it was not an option. My mom was sad and I was sad, but life moved on.

I remember seeing her in the hospital. She was just a quiet little bundle with an abundance of black hair, but she was so precious. I haven't seen her since that day, but I think about her every few months and wonder how she's doing and what kind of person she has become over the years. It hurts my heart a little when I think of the relationship we missed out on and I hope that her adoptive family has treasured her.

The adoption of my cousin solidified the thought that I wanted to adopt. That somewhere out there, there were children who needed a mommy and someday, I would be their mommy.

In the past few years, I've read so many books, articles, interviews, and testimonies about adoption. Seriously, I have a shelf of adoption books on my bookshelf. I've talked to people who have adopted or are in the process and read adoption blog after adoption blog. I know so much about adoption and still there is so much to learn! I've known families that adoption has almost torn their family apart and read all the horror stories. It's a good thing that God calls us to do hard things, because folks, adoption is HARD!

Before I started dating my husband, we had a conversation about adoption. Due to my lack of tact, it came out of my mouth sounding like this "I plan on adopting children. Are you okay with that? If you aren't, we aren't supposed to be together." It's no small wonder he stuck with me!

The Bible talks about adoption/orphan care in several verses.

Psalm 68:5-6 says
"Father to the fatherless, defender of widows-
this is God, whose dwelling is holy.
God places the lonely in families;
he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy.
But he makes the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land."

James 1:27 says "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

and Matthew 18:5 says "And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me."

It's not like God is silent on the issue. Still, I think the most compelling reason I could give when people ask "Why do you want to adopt?" might be "Because I can."

A quote from this blog sums it all up.

"...We adopt not because we are rescuers. No, we adopt because we are the rescued."

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

More Photos of Mairi...and a Sad Farewell.

I finally had a chance yesterday to snap some decent pictures of Mairi. I took her out on our balcony and tried to wrangle her into an adorable position. It wasn't as easy as the time I took photos of Nessie, but I think Mairi's personality really shines through in these pictures. Take the first one for example, she's definitely my puppy. I always get caught with my mouth open during photos.

I am so grateful for my dear husband, E. He is head puppy wrangler. It's rough having two puppies sometimes, but he's generally pretty patient with them and their neediness. I just hope we can work all the kinks out by the time we decide to have kids. I want two well-behaved dogs before I introduce little Hennigans to their environment. E and I decided to go ahead and get both of them so we could have lots of time to spend with them before adding to our load. I feel like I would not do well with an unruly dog and little kids. Too much stress!

We have one of E's old roommates staying with us right now. It's been so great to get to see him and hang out with him. He was always fun to be around when we were dating, so it's been nice getting to spend some post-marriage time with him. I know E is loving it!

We bought a new couch several weeks ago and I bought some art work to hang above the couch.
It looks pretty spiffy, but I still have to print some cute photos to put in our picture frames above the couch.
I'll post pics when it's finally done!

Memorial Day weekend we'll be in DFW to celebrate my birthday a little early. We are getting our photos professionally done (with Nessie and Mairi in some of course...can't leave the dog-babies out!) by Sarah Bunyard Halferty. She and her husband are leaving soon to be missionaries in Papua New Guinea. She's doing some last minute photoshoots to help raise money for their move and ministry, so if you want to donate or have your photos done by her then you better do it soon!

I came into work today and S was sick. Poor baby took turns playing with his toys and clinging to me with a binky in one hand, a snuggly blanket in the other hand, and his sweet little head on my shoulder.

I have so much to say today and I'm not sure where to start or where to censor myself.
My dear friend Emylee, who came to see me over the weekend, and the rest of her family are reeling from the loss of one of their family members. Today, they will be attending Kenny's funeral.

I didn't know really know Kenny, but his loss impacted me. I don't normally photograph weddings, but last April I had the privilege of documenting Kenny and Mandy's wedding. It was the first wedding I've shot. It unsettles me that he's gone after barely a full year of marriage. It definitely made me take a step back and realize that I need to let people know that I value them. It also made me hug my handsome husband just a little tighter at night and cuddle a little longer in the mornings.

So, hug your loved ones close and I'll say farewell with these photos of Kenny on his wedding day and with his wife and little son at a birthday party in September. You will be missed Kenny.